Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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