I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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