I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
