you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
