Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
