Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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