Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
