Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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