At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
