I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
