so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
