Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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