Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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