Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
