He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
