Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
