I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
