It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize