matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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