that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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