DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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