she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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