All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
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So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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