wrigley field is MILF paradise
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's