So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
