Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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