I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
