she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
