This girl is more easily done than said...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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