the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
