Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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