no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty