Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
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I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices