I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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