Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.