I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
