This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
