shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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