Christians are straight up FREAKS
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
