Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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