at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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