Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
