i barfeds in our rink
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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