So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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