That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
