I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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