wat bout pragnant strippers??
the condom got lost in my hair
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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