You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
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My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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