Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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