remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
