Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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