she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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