why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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