So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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