Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
