U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
