I look better un-naked...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
