She is in my trunk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
