you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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