margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
