the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
