So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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