his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
