oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
