i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
