I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
