i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
